Birthdays

My birthday is tomorrow.  I hate my birthday.  Not because I'm getting older.  My age has yet to bother me.  I hate my birthday because it always sucks.  I love birthday parties, and making a big deal out of the birthday star, and eating cake, and watching people open presents, and all of that good stuff.  This never seems to happen on my birthday.  At most I can gather a few family members together.  My husband forgets to get me a gift, people say they will show up and never do, and it all just seems like maybe I'm not worth it.  I don't want this to turn into a pity party and I don't want this blog to be just me bitching, but I just feel so worthless on my birthday.  I can't think of a great birthday.  Ever.  When I was little no one could ever come because it's during the summer and everyone was always away.  Now that I'm an adult the situation really hasn't changed.  I nearly teared up when my coworkers gave me an early birthday party at the end of the school year.  It meant so much to me that they thought of me.  I'm trying for a big party again this year - I sent out invitations on facebook and we'll see what happens.  I'm not expecting much, but the 2 families who have said they will come are the main ones who I'll have fun with, so I kind of have high hopes.  I don't want to set myself up for disappointment, though, so I'm trying to not get too excited.  I hope my son's birthdays don't suck.  I'm going to make it my goal for him to have awesome birthdays.  I am determined to give him the sweet parties that I never get.  I want  him to feel loved and appreciated and worthwhile, the way I know I should.  I'm going to read myself Dr. Seuss's Birthday Book tomorrow.  I'm GOING to have a great day.  I will make it happen!