Here Goes!

I'm going to start out by saying that I have no idea what I'm doing.  I'm currently being kicked in the face by my only offspring, who I have been referring to as Captain Von Squirtingham.  The Captain and I get to spend the whole summer together while his daddy is in school.  The Captain is 3 months old, which is why he can get away with kicking me in the face.  He can't help it, his feet just go.

I'm starting this blog in the hopes that it will keep me from going insane.   I work as a teacher and don't know what to do with  myself during the summer anyway, and now I am responsible for someone else as well.

My precious little ball of bodily fluids was born in April and has been oozing ever since.   I don't remember what I was going to write, because he just leaked again - all over me - so yeah.  I can't get anything done during the day as the Captain refuses to nap and when he does nap, he must be held.  Period.  Or there is no nap.  I thank my lucky stars and any local deities that the child sleeps through the night.  Don't hate me, I have no control over this.  He's a freak.  I'm not sure he's human.  He looks human, but that doesn't mean anything.

Living with the Captain and I, since he happens to be my lovely hubby and babydaddy, is Duckie.  I call him this because we all know that Andie totally needed to end up with the Duckster, and I believe that after the movie ended she did.  He is my Duckie.  My best friend and all that gooshy stuff.  He is also the most awesomest person there is.  I hit the jackpot with him.  The only thing he doesn't do is lactate, and I'm trying to talk him into doing that.  I don't know why, but he just won't do it!

Last summer we bought a double-wide (our first house!) and got a surprise (the Captain), so it has been a busy year.  I would have a bajillion kids if they could be like the Captain.  Then there are my four-legged children.  Three cats and two dogs.  They are still my babies and they still sleep in bed with us at night, and if you think that animals and kids don't mix, you can suck it.

I am in my twenties.  I graduated from college and starting working on my Master's degree, but then I procreated, so I stopped.  I want to go back to school some day, but not while I have to take care of the Captain 24/7.  I would rather gauge my eyes out with a q-tip then work, lactate, and go to school all at the same time.

I am ridonkulously excited about the last Harry Potter movie.  My birthday present to me is going to see it on Friday.  Now I just need someone to watch the offspring.  Woops.